“If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea.” – Jesus (Mark 9:42)
CONTENT WARNING: This article mentions sexual assault. Feel free to skip to the rules at the end, if those topics are painful for you.
One of the things that draws many people to the Lutheran version of Christianity is our belief that everyone is both sinner and saint. Most preachers in the Lutheran church – especially the ELCA – are reluctant to focus our sermons on sin. Instead, we prioritize the grace of God (aka as the gospel of Jesus Christ). In fact, my New Testament professor told us that the vast majority of people listening to our sermons are already feeling inadequate enough. The last thing anyone needs is a sermon to make them feel even worse. On those occasions that I have slipped away from prioritizing grace in my messaging, people have definitely let me know. 😊
That said, one thing that we cannot tolerate within community is abuse. While I do believe that abusers are also saved by the grace of God and entitled to spiritual care, it must be provided in a way that does not cause harm to vulnerable people.
I am happy to say that the ELCA does not condone any sexual misconduct by an employee of the church. However, perpetrators seek out professions and institutions that give them access to victims. They are masters of manipulation and charm and find their way into places like schools, churches, and other places that should be safe. In order to become a pastor, I had to undergo significant psychological screening and training in how to maintain pastoral boundaries while caring for people. Every pastor in the ELCA has that same experience + we have to renew our boundary training every 3-5 years.
Despite all of that, there are still those that wiggle their way into our spaces like snakes in the grass. I met a woman while I was in seminary, who left the church for several years, because a pastor had engaged in a sexual relationship with her, callously dumped her, and maligned her to the congregation. She is back in church now after reporting him to the bishop and having him removed from the roster of the ELCA. More recently, my colleague at Grace in River Edge, NJ was arrested for having sex with a teen (which is by definition rape) who was a member of his congregation. Our bishop reacted swiftly to remove him from the roster and provide pastoral care to the congregation.
It is good that these bishops reacted quickly and decisively, but, obviously, it is much better to be proactive in the hopes that the bishop doesn’t need to react at all. To that end, St. Timothy is going to hold to some basic rules in order to keep vulnerable people safe. An added benefit to maintaining rules like this, is that we can be a welcoming space to people that act differently without worrying about safety, because we have a system the protects everyone. As I mentioned earlier, the Lutheran church is a place that recognizes everyone as both sinner and saint. No one is above reproach and no one is beyond the pale.
We have a few rules to get started setting up a system that protects the most vulnerable among us. Please review them. One of the biggest challenges, as mentioned above, is that perpetrators are usually charming and well-loved. People that come across as awkward or strange are probably just awkward and strange. One of the benefits of guidelines is that no one is exempt from following them – including the pastor. If someone doesn’t adhere to the guidelines, they can be restricted from activities working with vulnerable people, which would prevent anything more serious from happening.
These rules pertain to church programming that involves children (up to the age of 18) interacting with adult(s), who are not their parent/guardian/or an adult authorized to act on behalf of the parent.
- Children may not be alone with an adult. In those cases that one adult is
leading a class or discussion with a group of kids, the door must remain open
and other adults must be in the vicinity. - All adults supervising children’s activities will have been actively engaged in
this congregation for a minimum of one year. - All adults supervising children’s activities will need to have a criminal
background check (handled through the church office.) - All adults supervising children’s activities will need to go through a training
in how to work with kids with appropriate boundaries.