When I arrived in New Jersey 20 years ago, I was almost immediately struck by the dimensions that “events” take in this part of the Garden State. Christopher graduated from 8th grade about two months after our arrival at St. Timothy, and we were surprised that such an event even existed. In Pennsylvania students simply moved from middle school to high school without ceremony or fanfare. Not only did the George Washington Middle School schedule an event, but people treated it like a bona fide graduation. Girls bought special outfits for the occasion and parents threw big parties to celebrate their progeny’s promotion. Of course, the glory of middle school graduation paled in comparison to the North Jersey wedding. These elaborate affairs were a far cry from the typical firehouse soiree so common in Western Pennsylvania. New Jersey nuptials boggled our provincial minds with their grandeur!

Even non-wedding religious events cast a larger shadow in our neck of the woods. Perhaps we’re trying to emulate our Jewish neighbors with their bar and bat mitzvah. I was shocked to learn that the parents of one of my first Jersey baptismal candidates rented a limo for the event! While this is not the norm (I haven’t seen a limo at a baptism since that time), we do make a big deal of baptisms, first communions, and confirmations. Post-sacramental feasts are frequent, and the guest list usually includes more than just family members. Note that I’m not complaining; we’ve attended many delightful dinners over the years. It’s nice that we recognize that these sacramental events are a very big deal and ought to be celebrated as the momentous occasions they really are.

For me the real issue is ownership: whose event is this wedding / baptism / first communion / confirmation? The obvious answer is that the sacramental event belongs to the person upon whom this particular grace is bestowed. It’s John and Mary’s wedding, baby Florence’s baptism, Rusty’s first communion, and Darlene’s confirmation. Of course, in the case of first communion and confirmation (and sometimes baptism), there are usually other recipients of the sacrament or rite. We emphasize the recipient in these cases because the event is indeed momentous. Luther often spoke of the significance of baptism and how those who have been baptized return daily to the event, remembering that they are loved by God and set free from sin, death, and the devil. Similarly, we celebrate marriage as entry into a sacred covenant, and first communion as admission to the Lord’s Table, and confirmation as the affirmation of baptism. All are of great significance in the life of their recipients; they walk away from the event as new people.

But we also need to acknowledge that these occasions truly belong to God. It is God who is at work in baptism, Christ who is present in the Eucharist, the gifts of the Spirit which are stirred up in confirmation. All three persons of the Trinity are active in each of these events, and even marriage is a contract bound in the presence and by the agency of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Jesus’ first “sign” in the fourth Gospel (John 2:1-12) establishes a pattern for Christian marriage. The LBW prayer of the day for marriage says, “As you gladdened the wedding feast at Cana in Galilee by the presence of your Son, so by his presence now bring your joy to this wedding.”

If these momentous occasions belong to the Triune God, they also belong to God’s Church. Because these events are liturgies of the Church, they belong to the people of God. As with all liturgies, all are welcome. This means that the families of the baptized, the first communicant, and the confirmed, must anticipate that their church celebration will be joined by other members of the Christian community. We all rejoice at the arrival of new members to our baptismal fellowship, new guests at the Lord’s table, and new peers in the pews. The implication for those of us whose relatives are not being baptized, confirmed, or initially communed is that we too need to be in church on these days to affirm our unity in Christ. Join the celebration: share in your fellow members’ joy!!

In Jesus’ name,

Pastor Robert M. Mountenay